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So, its Friday night again and I update my blog on Friday nights most of the time. I like to Fry your brains on Fridays. Ha!! I am a very lazy person so I won't greet you with 'Good Morning' or 'Good Evening'. Another reason because I don't greet people with 'Good Morning" is that I strongly believe that 'Good Morning' is an oxymoron. But we are not here to talk about Mornings and all. We are here to talk about Facebook friends. As we all know friends are very important ingredients in the dish called LIFE. Same theory goes with the imaginary but lovable Facebook friends of ours.
Enough, I've blabbed a lot already. I've observed one thing while killing time on Facebook that we all have this one friend :
(1). Who suddenly appears from nowhere when a Girl updates something. Makes a nice comment, wait for the girl's reply all night long, likes the girl's reply (Which usually looks like this = :))and then thank her for the affirmative reply.
(2). Who wishes you on your birthday by spamming your wall with something which looks like this “HBD”. Next thing you expect from such people is “Gimme $10 and I will wish you birthday properly, gimme 20 and I will dedicate a whole status to you!!”. Extra charges for Poems.
(3). Changes his/her DP thrice in the daytime and then switch back to the usual one (The only good picture S/he got in all his/her life) later in the evening.
(4). Who is 24*7 online, if you have posted something good, this guy will like it in like 10 seconds. If S/He doesn’t like it , know this fact “Your post is not good enough”. You can call them Units of measures. Plus if you don't see such guys online for 3,4 consecutive hours, you should call them and check whether they are alive or not. Because these friends goes offline only because of two reasons (a) They are dead. (b) Their internet is dead.
(5). Who tells you everyday the same thing “My exams are going on and I don’t know which book I need to buy, I don’t know what to do”. Well, first you need to get rid of this FACEBOOK, go study and if you can’t do that then do one thing GO BITE A DOG. I'm sure that will help. Though next day S/he will upload a picture of him/her biting a DOG.
(6). Who uploads pictures of his/her childhood. For obvious reasons. Even I was cute when I was THREE.
(7). Who updates Song Lyrics as status updates, Well yes, when I read your statuses I feel like dancing.
(8). Who tags you in pictures of “Eminem, Sunrise, Sunset, Flowers, Birthday Cakes, Cats, Dogs and the worst His/Her self-clicked own face’s pictures”. And you are like "Where I am in this picture?"......Look carefully, you are right there, beneath Eminem's penis.
(9). Who always screw your posts by commenting some sentimental shit.
(10). Who screws your movie plans by posting “Kahani was awesome, and the way Vidya killed her husband was just brilliant”. 5 out of 5 stars. Well, thank you Taran Adarsh.
(11). Who is on Facebook just to answer random questions like “Which letter your name starts with?, What’s your zodiac sign? What the hell is wrong with you? How many eyes do you have?”. And your TL is full of ABC answered this nonsense question with a YES.
(12). Who is like God, you are never sure about his/her existence.
(13).Who sends you App/Game requests, doesn’t matter how many time you ignore those requests, they just keep coming. These people are mostly Tweeter Celebs. There is not much to do on the Twitter. Simple.
(14). Who keeps inviting you to useless EVENTS. Even when they know that you live in
Mumbai and you are not stupid enough to go to Jammu for a book worth Rs 56/-. They'll still invite you. To add the torture they keep posting on the EVENT page "3 Days to go....2 Days to go....5 minutes to go.....25 seconds to go".
(15). Who is totally FAKE and you know it. But still you never delete him/her. Because everything is e-legal on the Internet.
(16). Who updates enormous amount of statuses in a day, and you are like "Dude, give yourself a break or at least give us a break".
(17). Who likes his/her own posts, even though its like fantasizing yourself while masturbating.
(18). Who spam your wall just to attain some traffic on his blog.:P
(19). Who always shows up with >> ??????? and the voice in your head whispers "Careful, Sheldon is awake now".
(20). Who wakes up at 5 am everyday and posts “Good Morning Guys”. After reading this all the chickens wake up and starts chirruping.
BONUS:
(A). Three most used album names on Facebook are:
(1). Me!
(2). Meeeeee!!
(3). Mobile Uploads.
(B). The way one changes his/her relationship status:
In a relationship........Single.......It's complicated. Well, it surely is buddy.
(C). Most used fake DP:
So this was my list, though I think there are many more types but it's 2 am and I am feeling sleepy. So, thank you for reading and have a good weekend ahead. :)
