The real translations.

What we say and what we actually mean:

(1). I will be there in 5 minutes = First I will finish my lunch then I will take a nap and after that I might come out to meet you.

(2). Call you back in 5 minutes = I picked up your call by mistake, will be careful next time.

(3). I miss you too = Why you make me lie all the time?.

(4). Got stuck in the traffic = I was watching porn all night long so I woke up late today thus I am late.

(5). Will you marry me? (Boys) = You played your cards well.

(6). Will you marry me? (Girls) = I want you to pay all my bills now. Officially.

(7). Don't worry. God bless you = You are going to get down and I'm no good at condemning people.

(8). I am sick can't come to office = It's India Vs Pakistan today.

(9). How you like your hairs? (Barbers) = Pay me more.

(10). Tea, coffee, cold drink? = Say yes and I will poison you to death. Expecting a NO.

(11). How many days you are planning to spend here? = Leave.

(12). No, no sex before marriage = Yes, you are trapped. Cheese is free in a mouse trap. 

(13). Can I kiss you? = I want my money back. Anyhow at any cost.

(14). Red doesn't suits you babes = It's too expensive and you are not worth it.

(15). Sorry, my phone was on silent mode = Believe me this time only and I swear to God I will never talk to you again.

(16). But I am the man of the house = Okay, I will eat out.

(17). Don't you dare touch me = Best things are not free. Almost.

(18). Whatever = Okay, I surrender.

(19). Oh, I want to pay you but look no checks left in my checkbook = My bank balance is ZERO.

(20). What would you like to have in dinner? = Choose anything between Potato curry and Potato curry.

(21). Time will heal everything = I can't help you with money so for now SUFFER.

(22). I will quit smoking tomorrow = Go away, I need a smoke.

(23). Come home soon I am missing you = Too much of dishes in the kitchen.

(24). We don't need a servant (Wife) = You are doing a good job.