Marriage: Signs, Symptoms and Causes.

A married man is always in trouble, when he starts forgetting all the dates (Wife’s Birthday, Anniversaries) or when he starts remembering all HIS dates.

Well you don’t have to wash your cloths after getting married, you will be washing her’s too.

After engagement : Yearn for her, After marriage: Earn for her & After kids: Learn Learn. In totality :YELL.

It will be the other way around, your office will become a place to have some peaceful rest after a hectic night at home.

She will be checking your cell phone when you’ll be busy dreaming of a better life and a better wife in the washroom (yep, that's where all men hides after marriage and fantasize good things), now you know who is gonna need some treatment in the evening.

Never ask your children that “Whom they loves the most? Mumma or Papa?” because they are too innocent to lie and the truth can hurt you both.

Every evening when you come home pretend that “You had a very tough day at work and you are super tired”, this might get you a good sympathy sex.

Don’t ask for “Bed Tea” in the morning unless you want to sleep in the kitchen from tomorrow, always compromise and enjoy your “Bad Tea” without complaining.

Never think of divorce and getting married again, the new one will come up with “New Ways” to Screw you up and you will only tell yourself “Oh, I need to get used of this too now”.

Two options for you- Love her parents or Love her parents: Because the only parents about whom she like to bitch about are yours.

Take her on holidays to different different places of the world, that will increase chances of her being lost.

What? What about your friends? Huh, as if you gonna have some after marriage.

Don’t waste your energy trying to make her laugh, she will treat you like a clown anyway.

Never make her miss her favorite TV serials (Means no Cricket, no Soccer and no News) unless you want to see those serial’ scenes happening in front of your eyes in reality and that too to YOU.

Always treat her like God, means mistake is always your because only humans makes mistake not God.

In the end marriage is a process which turns a guy to Subdued from Dude.

More often it goes like this- Daring (decision), Engagement Ring,Tring Tring, Wedding Ring, Very caring, BoRing,  You and she in a RING and SuffeRing. 

Well yeah on the day of marriage ceremony Men wear SHER-WANI but after that never talks in a SHER-WANI.



Valentine tip for married people: Prefer happy hours and take a cab home please.
P.S. Don't say “I love you" to random people in the bar.



The awkward moment in front of a shopping mall where your wife enjoys Pani Puri and you just stand there holding her hand bag. People give you gay looks.



Husband: *Wakes up at 1 am* I am hungry.

Wife: Me too, go cook something.

Husband: But now me sleepy.

Wife: Me too, Goodnight.

Husband: I guess I won.




Lesson to be learned: Never reply to your wife's "I love you" text with an "Okay".




And the awkward moment when your wife cooks "Uthappam" and you shouts in excitement "Wow PARANTHE".



So the summary is that there are three stages of a relationship:
(1) We are made for each other.
(2) We are mad for each other.
(3) We are maid for each other.